be the way I am

This times I'm really happy like I never been before.
I Smiled. I missed. I felt jealous. I worried. I live the way I love to without any regret or blame myself. No angry at answering phone or replying sms. Normally I had bad feelings for almost every one I met. I don't know why but I just saw bad side of others no matter what I tried to avoid those bad thoughts.
U taught me how to ride on unglossy vehicles. How to eat common food. In other words, U brought me closer to life which I've been hiding away. U brought me good mood.
I really love the way I am when being with u. I smiled when seeing ur smile, ur dimple cheeks, ur sight. Happy when talking to u, seeing movies with you, seeing ur friends, going around with u, eating popular food with u...
No one can  control my bad feelings to others. Even my bro, my sis and other guys they just keep silent and let me be with my bad mood, bad temper, and bad feelings. That drives me worse. I do not wan na be that way. And u came to control my bad.
That's enough hah. I was so fool when could not call my feelings' name. I was so fool coz I was waiting for what I myself did not know. What was I waiting for...
Now I'm quite sure about my feelings, but as normal, I'm sitting idly.
Why am I always leaving fate determine and wash my feelings away.