Where the rain won't hurt

The lack of warmness

2009/09/09 23:14:28

Sometimes i just can't sleep at night. Cuz of the lack of warmness. These teddy bears aren't enough. Of course they are all so furry, so cuddly but they are not warm. They are not alive. I can't feel their heart beats, hot breaths. They can't hold me back. And well, last night i miss my old dog. The only one who used to give me his very comfortable silent treatment. The only one still licked at my chin even after i was a bitch and shooed him out of my room. The only one tiptoed through the night from his little sleeping coner to sneak under my blanket, so that i would hold him and feel his warm belly. He was the one who tried to find way to me and got lost. Oh Gott, i just miss him so much. Okay, i'm being crazy. I don't deny it. You know what? Lonliness hurts and makes you go nuts. Hah, i'm now kind of understand even just a little bit how he feels and what he thinks when he said things like that. You can be surround by tons of people who say they love you but you are still a completely loner. And it's really hard to deal. And it hurts. People, from the past and now and maybe in the future, come to me and say so much wonderful things about how we are friends, how happy we are hanging out with each other. And someone even said thing i always wanna hear, she said: "Even if the world against you, we will still be by your side." And i cried, and i believed it. But then things turned out like this, oh so perfectly, i quited. Cuz i realized it doesn't matter how much i tried, it doesn't matter how much they did for me like they said, there will always be a very big distance. From me to all of them. From me to the whole world. "So automatic when you say things get better, but they never." So automatic. So fucking automatic. Everyhing is just a rountine. People act like engine. Okay, your friend is upset, you cheer them up by saying: "It's nothing, don't let it affect you." But the point is why it's nothing? They just say thing but never put them as their friend position to consider. That's why i refer silent treatment. You can call me cold-hearted but hah... i really can't do this. I can't just simply say thing. Seek for a warmness to comfortably easily drift into sleep is so hard it make me mad. Sometimes i just wanna the hold world to drown with me in total silence. People should better to be all blind/mute/numb. Seem like I'm done with everything now. Saying these things is so not like me, so weak. But like i said, the lack of warmness can make you nuts, so well.

[twincest comic] CONFESSION

2009/09/02 14:21:08

I finally made it. Repost from the beginning.

A.U.T.O.M.A.T.I.C

2009/08/28 15:03:09

New song from Tokio Hotel Well, i'm officially in love with this song. For me, it is not only about lovers but also about people who you love or acquaintances. And the song fit my own situation so well that i feel like he wrote this for me "... Its automatic every word in your letterThe lie connects the beat Its automatic when you say things get betterbut they never.." Rất nhiều người đã đến, nói những lời như thế, rồi quay lưng rất nhanh, nhanh như người ta lật sấp lật ngửa bàn tay vậy. But i don't know how can i still believe them. Such a fool! "... This life is so sickYou're automatic to me" ... "...there's no real love in you..." ---- Nhưng mình vẫn thích bài này biểu diễn theo dạng acoustic và bằng tiếng Đức hơn, tuy Bill không hát được những nốt cao như trong official version nhưng bù cái giọng rất nhẹ, rất mượt trên nền guitar chậm rãi của Tom, he made the song deeply hurt. Lời bài hát giữa hai bản tiếng Anh và tiếng Đức cũng khác nhau. Here my favorite lines from German version. "...Wenn du lachstLachst du nichtWenn du weinstWeinst du nichtWenn du fühlstFühlst du nichtsWeil du ohne Liebe bist..." When you laugh You're not laughing When you cry You're not crying When you feel You're not feeling anything Because you're without love Khi em cười. Thật ra em có cười đâu. Khi em khóc. Cũng chẳng phải em khóc thật. Khi em cảm thấy.Em không cảm thấy gì hết. Bởi vì em không hề có tình yêu. "...Wie automatisch Renn ich durch alle Straßen Und keine führt zu dir Wie automatisch Folgen mir deine Schatten Und greifen kalt nach mir..." Automatically I run through all the streets And none leads to you Automatically Your shadows follow me And coldly grasp at me Vô cùng máy móc. Anh chạy băng qua tất cả các nẻo đường. Nhưng không nơi nào dẫn anh đến với em cả.Vô cùng máy móc. Chiếc bóng của em đi cạnh anh. Rồi lạnh lùng ôm anh thật chặt. ... Damn it, the song makes me really really want to hug someone and cry out loud. He is a teaser.

bye bye my only best friend.

2009/08/10 14:03:33

Thứ năm này mày đã thành Vịt Kiều rồi nha. Bye bye my only best friend. Mày luôn khác với hầu hết, à, nên nói là khác với tất cả những người khác. You take no advantages from me. You are not selfish, different from everybody. You are the only one that can bare with my swing mood from diva to bitch easily. I will always remember the days we go and eat around like two fat pigs, and we go to cosplay and bla bla bla a lot of interesting things that have happened. My family will miss you too, you know. Dude, with you, friendship is never be selfishness like i always think about. Haiz... Hope you will try your best to become a no.1 prostitute with your own cave Good bye my ONLY BEST FRIEND. BFF

No more glassess

2009/08/06 12:22:22

Dude!!!!!! Mổ mắt xong rồi, h thì mắt tỏ như mắt cú. Yay for no more glassess Sáng mắt rồi thì nhìn được một số chuyện rõ ràng hơn Can't believe i survived a week without yaoi, twincest and my boys >_<. But now everything is fine XDDDD And one more. Now i can't deal with all of my problems, don't make me deal with any of your problem -_- Một tuần lễ đủ biết ai tốt ai xấu rồi

2 cm to a kiss

2009/07/24 22:40:59

This thing always makes me crazy. Call me a freak or whatever you one. I believe this is L.O.V.E

Love is...

2009/07/17 13:12:37

Love is a broken hallelujah. But it is still a hallelujah Then let me dive into that hallelujah. And trap me. Forever.

I'm sad.

2009/07/16 18:49:52

Usually, when the person you like pushes you down, you automatically wrap your arms around their back... It's human nature. Don't you think? ... ...And i always keep wondering how can it happen... to me? What the fuck? I'm sick of people love each other. Really

[P]a[P]arazzi

2009/07/14 21:14:39

Paparazzi - Lady GaGa ... "Yeah, cause you're my rock star in between the setsEyeliner and cigarettes" "Shadow is burnt, yellow dance and we turnMy lashes are dry, purple teardrops I cryIt don't have a price, loving you is cherry pieCause you know that baby, I..." "I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love mePapa, paparazziBaby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll beYour papa, paparazziPromise I'll be kindBut I won't stop until that boy is mineBaby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love mePapa, paparazzi"

I'm not a boy O_O

2009/07/10 20:06:29

SEE???